After pondering this for perhaps too long, I turned to Doctor Jordan Peterson who opined, on video, that the western world's obsession with romantic happiness was insane and as if we were all trapped in the fantasies of a 13 year old girl. Which may account, I mention here, for the popularity of 13 Going on 30.
I would also blame the big brown puppy-dog eyes of Mark Ruffalo if it weren't for the fact that I didn't give him a second glance when I watched the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind back in 2004.
Now that was NOT a rom com but a scream of anguish on behalf of my generation. Not to be dramatic or anything.
I'm torn about the "danger" of Rom Coms. I also wonder whether grouping them all together is also troublesome. To me there's a great difference between certain kinds of American RomComs, like 27 Dresses, or 13 Going on 30, etc, which I can't stand, and British (and/or British adjacent) RomComs (if they even are such) like What a Girl Wants, Love Actually, Music and Lyrics, etc... And then where do period romance films fit in?
ReplyDeleteThen again I may just not want to give up my one true movie love, Colin Firth. (In my defense, I also pray regularly for his and Livia's marriage. Actually I try to pray for all my favorite actors and actresses whenever I think of them/watch their movies, and specifically pray for their marriages since it appears that the acting business is not easy on the institution of marriage...)
Well, I should define "danger" here. I don't mean a danger to one's IQ or tendency towards concupiscence. (There's no actual nudity in 'Just Like Heaven'.) I mean a danger to one's grip on reality and satisfaction with life, especially when the initial crazy-love phase of marriage has turned into something less obviously absorbing, or we deeply regret not being like the heroes and heroines (rich, beautiful, good, hitherto having made all the right decisions..)
DeleteI think it is very generous of you to pray for your favourite actors and actresses. I guess it's one way we can really repay them for the entertainment they give us. (Yes, we buy tickets, but..)
No I knew what kind of danger you meant, and I agree. (I just like to think the chick flicks I like have a bit more well rounded characters and more interesting plot, and actual substance, but the same dangers of living in a fictional dream world are still there...) But that line of crossing over to living in fiction is very real. When does it become too much? That's where I struggle at times. Then again, I also think we've had books to disappear into for much longer... As long as one doesn't expect one's life to be like a movie or a book, then I reckon it's a danger we've managed to mitigate perhaps?
DeleteRe: praying for actors - that's exactly how I see it - if I do appreciate their God given talents, why shouldn't I be praying for them? If I don't am I writing them off as "lost causes?" That wouldn't be very nice of me. It's also a helpful reminder to myself not to cross that line into objectifying the nice looking British men :D
I'm enthusiastic about free speech--when it is words, written down--but not about sweeping "freedom of expression" because the written word doesn't bypass reason the way images do. Pornographers hide behind "freedom of expression" even though most of the time porn is not really an "expression" but just images meant to create reactions and behaviour in people that is, it turns out, addictive.
DeleteNow, I can't see "13 Going on 30" or "Just Like Heaven" having a negative cultural impact in themselves. ("Love, Actually" strikes me a more of a problem, in part because it minimises the damage done to and by people involved in the porn industry.) However the drip-drip-drip of rom coms has had an effect on what western societies expect from romance and marriage, for example, and most definitely could have on us. I'm a rather shocked at just HOW MUCH television and films have changed or shaped public option about sexual and social matters that used to be taboo. It was completely unthinkable in 1990, never mind when I was born, that there could be same-sex marriage. And campaigns to have little kids given sex-change surgery? Add Youtube, and how you have parents applauded for encouraging their nine-year-old sons to perform as drag queens. WHAT?
Anyway, there is no use crying over technological change--I think (people have been calling to abolish nuclear weapons since 1945)--all we can do is be aware of the power of technology--especially of VISUAL technology--and both guard against its enslaving tendencies and protect children from them.
I think there are differences between stories that express psychological truths and stories that are simply tissues of lies. It would be interesting to hear a psychologist like Jordan Peterson explain why young women love rom coms so much. I think "13 Going on 30" is about women over 25 deeply regretting their mistakes and very frightened about what will happen when we are "old and ugly." If I were a radical feminist, I would be in screaming fits over "13 Going on 30" because of the way it portrays a woman who is successful in her woman-centred career, dating a high status man, and uses her sexuality in a way that best serves her interests: all that sucks, and she would be better off as a virginal 13 year old. Well, I agree with that, but then I'm a traditional Roman Catholic, not a radical feminist. The one thing I would caution is that sensitive middle-age women viewers not beat themselves up after the film is over for not being virginal 13 year olds anymore. You really can't go back to being 13. You have to figure out what to do with the person you are NOW, and the time you have left.
Fortunately, gazillions of over-40s have proved that you can change, grow and develop until you die. I read something very stupid today about accepting how after 45 you'll "never learn Portuguese". Nonsense. If you really want to learn Portuguese after 45, you'll do it. It might be bloody hard work, but it's doable. I bet one could become a champion dancer or athlete (in one's age group) after 45 if one wanted to badly enough and worked out an effective training plan.
I'm not sure that the movie is telling women that they would be better off as virginal 13-year-olds, and I've seen it several times because it airs often on TV. I think it is saying that seeking popularity and status in friendships and dating will not make you happy, virginal or otherwise.
ReplyDeleteAnd - sorry to disagree with you twice in a row! - I don't think I agree about restricting freedom of expression regarding visual images rather than freedom of speech. As an art-lover, I fear that censoring potentially arousing material would exclude too much. I would ban visual depictions of torture and certain other kinds of violence, though, whether sexual or otherwise, unless for documentary or journalistic purposes.
As for the dangers of images because they bypass reason, didn't the Greeks agree that *music* was the most dangerous art in that respect, especially words and music together? Yet how on earth would you censor it?
Clio
That's an interesting question. As a matter of fact, a few sectarian football anthems have been banned in Scotland--at least from football (soccer) stadiums.
DeleteI'm not sure I agree with the Greeks about music being more dangerous than visual imagery. The Greeks, by the way, banned depictions of violent acts and of death on stage. Poor old Oedipus puts his eyes out off stage, and we find out about the various deaths from the helpful Messenger coming back in. And whereas the Greeks had much pornographic pottery, they wouldn't allow that onstage either. Come to think of it, the idea of real women on stage at all was too much for their sensibilities.
Are there still Parental Advisory stickers on albums these days? I remember in the 1980s much talk of Tipper Gore's campaign to alert parents to the garbage their children were listening to.
At any rate, I still firmly believe that the dangers of imagery (and music) are that they bypass reason. When you read something, you mind has to get to work on it. There's some mediation and choice involved. The poor eleven year old who comes across porn has no defences.
I agree that the danger of music and imagery bypass reason. However, I think the Greeks were right to worry about music more than images; I mean, they may have restricted images, but Plato didn't say there should be no visual artists in his ideal republic. (Much more deadly is the modern combination of music + imagery, but I digress.)
ReplyDeleteMy point is that music is far more easy to manipulate for political purposes than imagery. A song can and sometimes does start a revolution; very few stand-alone pictures can do so, partly because most people are not visually attuned enough to understand their messages. Consider that the most 'radical' of the arts are usually visual: new social and other ideas creep into the visual arts long before they get into the debates of intellectuals and even longer before they make their way into music. And guess what? No one notices, most of the time, unless the images are naked and even then the arbiters of taste merely think the things are offensive, not revolutionary.
Remember, oh Canadian girl, that music (singing) kept the voyageurs at their oars. Music piped away during every change on board naval ships. Music played while men marched to war. Music can hide, glorify and excuse almost *everything* that politicians can do. That's why the philosophers struggling against tyranny fear it. I don't say their absolutely right, but they have a point.
Clio
That is really interesting. I had never considered music from that point of view before---except bagpipe music, which has a pretty strong "calling" effect. I don't know if you feel this way, but when I hear it, I think "Where's the parade/wedding/funeral? Must go see..."
DeleteYes, bagpipes do have a calling effect on me... BTW, in that last sentence, I meant 'I don't say they're absolutely right', not 'their'. Silly vanity to correct it now but I can't help myself.
ReplyDeleteAnother correction to my comment: it was poets rather than musicians that Plato banned from his Republic, but wasn't ancient Greek lyric and epic poetry usually sung or chanted? You know more about that than I do but that is what I recall out of my slight knowledge.
I wish I could go back to school again and do another degree or two - classical history and literature, and then some work on Shakespeare and Milton. Reading them alone is not as satisfying, somehow. Perhaps I should start another blog for the purpose...
clio