Saturday, 2 April 2016
Fishing in the Same Pool
Meanwhile it has come to my attention that Single girls are still freaking out and raising a stink when Single men ask out more than one girl from within their social or professional circle. Oh dear. How wrong this is.
First, there is a huge moral difference between a decent chap who asks Betty out for coffee on Tuesday and Veronica out for coffee on Friday and the lying seducer who is merely trying to sleep with as many women as humanly possible. It is outrageously unfair to confuse the two.
Second, most men are busy and don't have many social circles. Besides, say a man wants to marry a nice Catholic girl and there are only 15 in town? What's he supposed to do: choose one by lot? No, he gets to know as many of them as possible and then pursues the one he likes best. No, it doesn't feel good not to be chosen. Yes, it hurts. Life is a vale of tears. Did I mention I met B.A. when I was thirty-freaking-seven? Yes, I think I did.
Third, surely it is better for men to go out and have coffee with real women than to stay at home with their computers. Society's relationship with technology is so messed up our real rivals for men's attention aren't actually other women in our social milieu. They are internet p*rn stars and complete strangers on Tinder. Personally I do not understand the Tinder dynamic. Do those girls get dinner first or what? Do they like stranger sex so much, they pay the men? Has the world's oldest profession been forced out of business? Can I finish this post without writing, "Boy, am I glad I'm marr--"?
Fourth, the social punishment for creating a public scandal is huge. HUGE. First, men just don't think it is wrong to ask Betty for coffee on Tuesday and Veronica for coffee on Friday. It's just coffee. If a man gives either an affectionate peck--or cheerfully goes with the flow when either lungs at him--well, these things just don't mean as much to men unless they are head-over-heels in love-at-first-sight. Other men know this, and they will all take the guy's side whatever they say to the contrary. (Men lie a lot to stay out of trouble, etc.) So when Betty and Veronica discover that they have both had coffee with Archie and start to wail and fuss and accuse Archie of moral turpitude, Reggie, Jughead, Big Moose and the gang start looking for the exits. Not only will they never ask Betty and Veronica out for coffee themselves, they may lose interest in asking out other girls around, too. Nope--it's back to triple XXX, Tinder and ghosting at worst and going down to pub with pals at best. In some circles in the UK, hanging around with girls is considered a bit gay, anyway.
Q: What's the definition of a Glasgow poof?
A: A Weegie (Glaswegian) who likes girls better than beer.
Creating a huge drama because a man dates girls the same way his grandfather did--one this day, one that day, another on the weekend, having sex with none because these are "respectable girls" he knows from work/the neighbourhood/uni--is neither kind nor wise. It can also ruin your reputation at work.
Naturally I understand that if your life revolves around work or studies or the Latin Mass, you are most likely to date men from your work or studies or 150-person parish. However, this should involve DISCRETION. Discretion, at the very least, means not calumniating an unmarried colleague because he spends time with more than one woman instead of exclusively dating you.