Monday 9 April 2018

Dating a Russian Man

A young Russian friend alerted me to the following video, which was apparently made in Canada. If so, I have a pretty good idea where, since the Russians invaded it by their thousands after 1990 and without founding any good restaurants.

Video here (Safe for work, little brothers, et alia)

 I have never been on a date with a properly Russian man, only with an ex-Israeli cantor from Minsk with a German surname, and it's a very long story. It is also a dull story and ends with a Slovene music conductor grilling me over the phone about what I had done to his poor friend. The Slovene was not dull, but that is an even longer story.

Anyway, the young Russian friend also sent me a link to the next video, which is about dating (anglophone) Canadian women.

Video here (Safe for work, slightly more dodgy for little brothers)

I know rather more about Canadian women than about dating Russian men, and the very amusing thing about the video is that it is true--especially for Toronto. Toronto women don't do eye contact with strangers.  We are perfectly capable of pretending that we are lesbians to put off prospective suitors. We are incredibly offended when men offer to help us carry ludicrously unwieldy things like mattresses until we have half-killed ourselves lugging them up four flights of stairs. And we do tend to have a sporty streak. (I had to give up watching sports soon after marrying B.A. because of football rage. My own football rage. B.A. doesn't have football rage. B.A. doesn't have football.)

Anyway, I was vastly cheered watching all this generalising because I greatly enjoy generalising myself. Also, it reminded me of a book on divorce I once read, in which the author--a retired divorce lawyer active before 1986--strongly advised against Canadian women of British or Irish descent ever marrying Russian, Polish, Yugoslavian, Czechoslovakian, Romanian or Hungarian men. (Apparently, it was fine for Canadian men of British or Irish extraction to marry Russian, Polish, etc., women.)

While watching the Russian Man video, I was very irritated by the Russian Man tutting and sighing and shaking his head, and I am very meek compared to what I was like in my twenties. Also, I cannot think of a more boring way to spend an evening than dancing in spike heels in a North York condo with a bunch of Russian-speaking girls while all the men sit a a table getting drunk.

Unfortunately there does not seem to be a "You know you're dating a SCOTTISH man when" video. However, I do not think it would speak to my experience as much as a "You know you're dating a TRAD CATHOLIC man when" video.

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