"Just wear your favourite okay-for-church dress," I said to my maid-of-honour.
No, I didn't. I made my poor sister wear a shiny dark green formal dress even though she doesn't wear green and the wedding ended before 5 PM.
What was I thinking?
The issue came up today because last night I dreamed that I was an attendant at Polish Pretend Son's wedding (a groomswoman, as a matter of fact) and so did not have to buy my own outfit, which was great. I also got a very cool attendant's present.
I told PPS of this excellent dream, and he informed me that large bands of bridesmaids and groomsmen (or women) all dressed the same is an Anglo-Saxons tradition, one that he finds "quite atrocious" and other things I prudently will not repeat.
PPS allowed as to how perhaps he always has seen the custom badly executed, which just goes to show how the love of a good woman can change a man, or at least train him to consider alternative points of view. However, I thought about his denunciation of our little altar armies and realised that he was probably right---at least about the clothes.
It's hardly revolutionary to point out that few women wear a bridemaid's dress more than once, why not put an end to them?
Wouldn't bridal parties look nicer if instead of trying to make everyone look the same (which is impossible anyway), we just asked our two witnesses to wear their best dress and favourite tie, and let the whole matching-attendant thing die?
For one thing, it would save a lot of money. For another, it would save the whole "who's in, who's out" rangle.
I asked my attendants to all wear a blue dress - any shade, any style, as long as it was church appropriate, and that worked beautifully. Everyone was coordinated, but each girl got to wear her own style, and it was lovely. I've never reworn a bridesmaid dress, so I didn't want to impose that on someone else
ReplyDeleteMy sister did this almost exactly- they had to be blue silk chiffon but that was it. I've worn that dress a number of times since! I had everyone in the same shade of purple, but dress of their choosing. I would have gone for the different shade idea but my little sister was engaged before me and got married a few weeks after, so I didn't want her to feel like I was stealing the "look" of her wedding, especially as she was extremely gracious about the whole thing.
DeleteThat you're worn your bridesmaid dress is proof that that was a good idea!
DeleteSplendid idea!
ReplyDeleteMargaret, I am adopting your plan if I ever get married! Sounds lovely!!
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you've ever seen the movie "27 Dresses," but it's a rom-com about a girl who's been a bridesmaid 27 times. The rest of the movie is totally predictable, but the scenes where she pulls out the bridesmaids dresses are hysterical. Something every bridesmaid experiences and (nearly) every bride forgets when planning her own wedding.
ReplyDeleteWe didn't even have a wedding party - just us and our parents, walking down the aisle two by two. We went for the simplest, least-fuss ceremony we could. We liked it!
ReplyDeleteMy little sister got married last year in Italy. Apparently in Italy they don't do the bridesmaids in matching clothes thing either so she had my sister and I as witnesses. We chose our own dresses and her only stipulation was that they were appropriate and not floor length (her dress stopped just above her ankles). It was a lovely wedding and since we were coming from the other side of the world it was a relief not to have to do bridesmaids dress fittings etc.
ReplyDeleteAussie girl in NZ
I have been a bridesmaid once and I wore the same dress as the only other bridesmaid. And actually this was at a Polish girl's wedding. But the dress was simple and semi-formal, so I've worn it again.
ReplyDeleteI have seen some truly breathtakingly bad bridesmaid dresses, but what's worse is when the bridesmaids will be in some colour like bright coral or orange and the groomsmen's ties match that colour...ew
Julia