Terrible Translation of the Day

While trying to put my Riverdale addition to good use, I went to youtube on a fruitless quest for Polish dubbing. Poles don't do dubbing. For some reason unfathomable to the rest of the world, they prefer to have an emotionless voice reading a Polish translation over the original dialogue. I don't know how they stand it, and it's hard not to see it as part of a complicated plot to keep the rest of the world from learning Polish. Not having any geographical defences, they construct linguistic walls to keep everyone out--except, apparently, foreign wives and Antonia Lloyd Jones.

I haven't found any Riverdale episodes with Polish subtitles which makes me suspect the dubbing is happening to it, the horror. (Imagine deep male voice: O-Jaghaid-ko-ham-chay-eh.) However, I did find a clip of an interview with Cole Sprouse, and the subtitles turned "Jughead" into "Chuck Adam."

If it weren't for the linguistic walls, I'd advise unemployed English Lit graduates to learn Polish and become English-to-Polish translators because something seriously wrong is going on there.

To show friends and enemies (to whom my blog readership is now reduced) the depths of my pop culture/linguistic insanity, here is a Polish translation of "Mad World." For, to quote TV-Jughead's most iconic speech, "In case you haven't noticed, I'm weird. I'm a weirdo." Besides, you'll also see what anglophone students of Polish are up against.

Update: Naturally it is problematic to be watching Riverdale at all. I know that. Sex & the City was a gazillion times worse though.